Raygun: 'It took a long time' to process Paris 2024 panic attack and online backlash
Rachael Gunn, known in competition as Raygun, said she had a panic attack in the Olympic village just hours before representing Australia at the Paris 2024 opening ceremony and later competed in breaking, the sport's Olympic debut, failing to win any of her three round-robin battles.
A 38-year-old university lecturer by profession, Gunn qualified for Paris via the Oceania Breaking Championships in Sydney in 2023 and won a scholarship at the New South Wales Institute of Sport in February 2024 to begin a strength and conditioning programme. "I've never participated in anything of such high stakes before. It was all international judges, but I was relieved and excited when I qualified. And then the next whirlwind happened," she said.
Gunn recounts feeling like an impostor on arrival in Paris and described a moment of overwhelming distress before the opening ceremony. "I felt like an imposter," she said in a new Netflix documentary about her experience at the Games, and added: "I just could not stop crying... I had a panic attack. 'What am I doing? What have I done? Should I be doing this?'"
On the competition floor she did not win any of her three round-robin battles but said she left content with aspects of her performance, noting that "Finishing my last round, the world champion Nicka [Dominika Banevic] gave me props for my moves, the MC celebrated my stuff and the vibe was just generally good." One of her routines, which included a sprinkler and a kangaroo hop, went viral and generated memes and TV sketches.
High-profile reactions to the viral routine included a sketch on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, an Adele concert reference, and media interviews in which Chris Hemsworth defended Gunn on Jimmy Kimmel; Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese praised Gunn for having "a crack." Alongside public teasing, Gunn said conspiracy theories emerged about nepotism involving her husband and trainer, Samuel Free.
Gunn addressed the allegations directly in the documentary: "It was really tough when mine and Sammy's credibility, ethics and motivations were being called into question," Gunn said. "You could just spend 30 seconds researching and find plenty of sources to debunk these conspiracies, but that's not how people use the internet anymore." She also described the personal toll: "I felt like my whole life was just kind of crumbling before me.. .and I was just trying to get through the day," she says in the documentary.
The film also covers her training build-up and personal challenges, including her mother's three brain aneurisms and Gunn beginning a course of anti-depressants to manage anxiety. Gunn said she accepted she could not match some rivals on athleticism and instead focused on creativity: "I was aware that I was never going to beat my competitors on athleticism," she explained. "For me, my strength is creativity. With that being one of the [judging] criteria, our thinking was, 'why don't we put all our eggs in that basket and really try and wow them? Maybe we can make a moment.' "We never, ever expected the impact it might have." Lowe Napalan, head of the Australian Breaking Association, appears in the film saying he assisted Gunn's training "a handful" of times and recalled seeing her routine for the first time just before she performed: "I was there side-stage," Napalan says in the film. "I had to not have a face of shock."
Reports in November 2024 said the furore had led Gunn to quit breaking; Gunn denied that and affirmed her commitment to the community. "I don't know where that came from," Gunn said. "I wouldn't let what happened take dancing away from me. I love breaking, I'll always break, I'll always be a part of the community." Reflecting on the documentary's effect, she told BBC Sport: "It's taken a long time for me to process what happened," and added, "It's really exciting for me to finally have a voice again." "It feels nice to lay it all out there and now be able to look to the future. I'm actually excited about what's to come, which is the first time for a while," she said.
Details of organisations offering help and support with mental health are available at bbc.co.uk/actionline.